A dear friend of mine just came back from living abroad for more than six months. It has been nice to catch up with her, but there hasn’t been the right moment for me to tell her about the blog project. We’ve met up and hung out and the other day we chatted on the phone for an hour…but I didn’t know how to start the discussion. I’ve got a lot of ‘splaining to do.
Did you see that old Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry David doesn’t want to find a new psychologist because he doesn’t have to have to give his whole “recap” to a new person? (aside: I love that show) That’s how things are for me.
Let’s see. When I count up how many people I’ve told in my real life about the project, it breaks down to about 10 family members and five friends. Until March it was only about five people total who knew. It was in March that I broke down and widened the circle to what it is now.
I probably need to bring a few more people into the fold. The longer I wait, the more awkward the conversation will be (they might feel left out). I might need to dedicate about 15 minutes of monologue to catch friends and family up on the blog. It’s been six months already and the project is half over! How would you tell people? Or would you just keep things as they are?
Everyone in my family that knows has been pretty excited about the blog project, but I have to share with you that my dad totally doesn’t get it at all. Over the course of my life his reactions to changes in my life have surprised me. A couple years ago when I told him I was pregnant (he had been hinting about grandchildren for sometime), he was excited, but took it in stride on the phone, “That’s great.” I expected screaming. Other times I’ll tell him something I deem to be trivial and he’ll yell at me, “That’s stupid of you!”
I told him over the phone about the blog and eating school lunches around March. My nerves were pinging when I said, “I’m eating school lunch every day and I’m keeping a blog about it.” My dad was totally not phased. I could see him shrug through the phone line. “Why are you doing that?” he asked calmly. “To raise awareness about what kids eat at school.” Dad, “Oh.” Changing the subject he continued, “So your grandmother…”
And that was it. I don’t think he really comprehends the word “blog.” He never reads it either! I should probably expect more reactions like that from family and friends.
What happens when the blog project is over? Do I go back to my normal life? Can I go back to my normal life…and job? Probably not. I’m still trying to process what the blog project means to my life. Sometimes I see myself handing in a resignation letter in December. Can I finish out the school year with my identity revealed? If I had been more with-it and sophisticated about the blog project, I would have done it over a complete school year. It seems clumsy that it covers parts of two different school years. Oh well. It is what it is.